Bonding
by PassionatelyHiddlestoned
Summary: 8 of Tom Hiddleston's characters that he has played in the past wake up together in a cave. When they realize they are stuck there, they must find a way to deal with each other's company. Friendship, annoyance, and shenanigans ensue. Loki Laufeyson, Magnus Martinsson, Oakley, Bill Hazeldine, Freddie Page, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Captain Nicholls, and Prince Hal. Light swearing.
1. Where are we?

"Oh god…" Magnus Martinsson opened his eyes. "My head hurts. Even more than usual!" He looked around to see 7 other people lying on the ground around him. "Well. This is bizarre."

Someone else began to rouse. "What the hell?" asked the guy, who looked about 20 years old. "What the hell happened?" Magnus looked at him. "That's what I've been trying to figure out myself…" The guy walked up to him. "I'm Oakley." Oakley was wearing a pale bluish grey muscle shirt and beige cargo shorts. He looked easy going and Californian, and had almost the same hair as Magnus. He shook his hand. "I'm Magnus."

Someone else woke up. "Oh…Oh no. My father's gonna kill me!" he said, looking around. "I shouldn't have gotten drunk last night, I've got horse riding today! Christ." He got up. "Wait… I don't recall going to the pub yesterday. Where am I?" Martinsson and Oakley walked over to him. "We don't exactly know… we just kind of woke up here." said Oakley. The other guy looked at the two of them. "I'm Hal. Prince Hal of England." He had golden brown wavy hair, and was wearing a red leather jacket and black pants. "Hey." "Hi." Hal sat back down.

A guy in the far corner opened his eyes. "Hmmm… peculiar. Last thing I know, I was talking to Zelda, and then… I must've dropped off to sleep." The man said with a strong American accent. He took in his surroundings. "Strange dream this is. Someone must've spiked my Brandy with something a little more!" "This isn't a dream, buddy, unless we're all having the same one," said Prince Hal. "Who are you?" The prince of England, next in line to the throne." "Oh. Well, pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm F. Scott Fitzgerald, but you can call me Scott." He said, shaking his hand heartily. Scott looked rather old fashioned, with finger curls and a brown suit.

"What I wouldn't give for a hard drink." said Hal. "I think I've got some…" said Scott, and pulled out a flask. He took a sip, then handed it to Hal. He took it. "I like you," said Hal. "Likewise, my newfound friend."

Somebody else, who had long black hair, stirred. "Damnit Odin! Banishment?" he screamed at the sky. "What did I do now? Forget to wash behind my ears?!" He got up, smoothed his weird-looking green, black and gold clothes, and walked toward the 4 of them. "What realm is this? Nidavellir? Muspelheim?" They stared at him with blank looks. "You look Midgardian…" he said.

"Who are you?" asked Oakley. "I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose." "Yeah, well I'm Prince Hal of England, and I'm burdened with a not-so-glorious hangover!" joked back Hal." You? A prince? Ha. I thought **I** was the god of lies!" replied the tall man. Hal scowled at him.

"Loki…" said Magnus slowly. "As in… the Loki from Norse Mythology? God of Mischief?" "At least someone knows who I am." said Loki, crossing his arms. "This is too strange," said Scott.

Someone rolled over and groaned. They all turned their heads to see who was joining them. It was a teenager. "Woah, man, what's going on?" he asked as he walked over, rubbing his eyes. "How are we supposed to know?" snapped Loki. He shrugged. "I'm Bill. Bill Hazeldine." Magnus guessed he was about 18. Bill looked around at Oakley and Magnus. "Hey, our hair looks the same! Awesome!" Loki sighed at the naive boy. "You remind me of someone I know." "Really? Who?" Bill grinned. "My idiot brother," Loki sneered.

There were two people left on the ground, one with a smart, casual suit and neatly combed hair, the other bearing a captain's army uniform. The one in the suit woke up.

"Bloody Hell!" he bursted out loudly. "My head aches like I was just bludgeoned!" He looked around. "What the- who are all of you?" They all introduced themselves, as of routine now. "I'm Freddie Page." He said. "Nice helmet," he said sarcastically to Loki. "If you're not careful, Mortal, I will use it to impale you."

Freddie laughed. "What's his problem?" "I don't know, but you'd better not piss him off, he's a god." said Oakley. "Well said, Oak of Ley," said Loki. "A god? Ugh. I think I **must've** been hit on the head as I thought earlier."

Finally, the last guy awakened. He stood up, and looked around to everyone. He looked beaten up, rather dishevelled, and quite confused, then straightened himself up. "Hello… I'm Captain James Nicholls of the British armed forces." Prince Hal snorted. They all introduced themselves once more. "Am I dead? I must've been killed in battle…" He took his hat off. "I do hope Joey will be alright." "Your son?" asked Magnus. James smiled. "No, the horse that I bought. I promised to take care of him, for a boy who leased him to me."

"Well, I seriously doubt we're dead, or there'd be a lot more people here," Scott said. "Maybe this is a transition period between life and death," said Bill with wide eyes. "Or maybe we're just trapped in a bloody cave, you twonks!" said Freddie.

They all fell silent. "I wonder why? I mean, I would understand if I was kidnapped by a horde of women, seeing how inconceivably attractive I am. But this is just weird. Why are 8 of us here?" asked Hal. "I guess we'll have to wait and see. Until then- let's get better acquainted." said Magnus with a sigh.


	2. Interaction

"Well, we might as well get comfortable," said Scott.

They all found a place to sit down, as they had a feeling they were going to be there for a while.

"So you said you're in the war?" asked Freddie, as he sat down next to James. "Yes, I'm soldier." "I was in the war too, but I was a pilot." James raised his eyebrows. "Pilots are very brave. I respect your courage," he said, putting a hand on Freddie's shoulder.

Scott was feeling through his jacket pocket for something, anything even remotely entertaining. He smiled as his hand came across his cigarette case. "Anyone care for a cigarette?" he called, taking one out. "I wouldn't mind one," said Oakley, sitting down next to him. "You know those things are sooo bad for you," said Magnus, frowning down at them. "Thanks for the tip, mum," joked Oakley.

Just as Scott was pulling out a match, Loki turned around from the corner. "If you even think about lighting one of those horrid, dastardly smelling Midgardian frivolities, I will personally see to it that you do not wake up in the morning," he grumbled. Scott quickly put them away.

Bill went to sit next to Loki. "Hey," he said, smiling. Loki just winced and moved away, but Bill followed. "I think you're outfit's cool." Loki just turned to him, and said in disbelief: "Wonderful. Of course I get the annoying teenage virgin that will most likely talk my ears off from here to Jotunheim for the next hour."

Bill pouted. "I'll have you know I have a girlfriend," he said defensively. "Hmm. That's quite unbelievable." Bill took out his wallet, and showed Loki a picture. "Her name's Jewel. We're madly in love." He said as he stared dreamily at the picture. Loki just gagged and got up, leaving Bill with his picture.

Prince Hal sat down next to Loki. Loki immediately bristled. "Calm down, Rapunzel, I just want to talk." Loki scoffed at the nickname. Why did everyone have to make fun of his hair so? He found nothing wrong with it. He found it to be quite dashing, really. "And what exactly do you wish to 'talk' about, Prince Hal of Britain?"

"You seem kind of prince-y yourself. You have royal blood too?" Loki narrowed his eyes. "Yes. I was meant to be king! It was my birthright. I was cast out. Betrayed by my own family!" Hal winced. "Ooh, that's got to feel bad. Well, I am going to be king, 'cause my family loves me and I'm the life of the party," he said, smiling.

Then remembering the situation Loki was in, frowned and said, "Sorry. So what's it like on Asgard?" "You know of my birth planet?" "Of course. Norse was a mandatory class in prep school."

"Well…" Loki began. "It's very different than Midgard, or Earth as you call it, and has a rainbow bridge called the bifrost." Prince Hal looked at him weirdly. "Rainbow bridge? Scott, did you give Loki any of that drink?" he called over. Scott laughed.

"I speak the truth," said Loki. "But Thor destroyed it, in attempt to foil my plan of the destroying of Jotunheim." Loki clenched his teeth. "Thor? Your 'idiot brother' that Bill reminds you of?" "The same."

"For me, it's kind of the opposite. You want to be king but aren't, I'm going to be king but really don't want to be." Loki looked at him inquisitively. "Who would give up a chance to rule?" "I'm just not that type of person, I guess. I can't…handle all the responsibility that comes with the throne."

Loki was surprised and ashamed to feel slightly sympathetic. Then he chased the feeling away. "I'd switch places with you any day… if I didn't have such divine hair." Hal snorted again.

Meanwhile, while everyone was getting to know each other a little better, Magnus was trying to figure out how they got there, and how they could get out. Hmm, he thought. The last thing I remember, I was doing some paperwork at the station, and I fell asleep. Maybe they were all connected in some way. "Everyone!" said Magnus. "What's the last thing you can remember before you got here?"

Scott frowned. "Hmm. I was talking to my girl Zelda, and I recall sitting down for a chat with Ernest, I think I had just met up with Gil as well, but I suppose I must've turned in a little earlier than usual."

"I think I just went home after an evening with Jewel…" said Bill, then grinned."Maybe I didn't leave after all, maybe I fell asleep with her!" Loki rolled his eyes.

"I remember I was TRAPPED in my repulsive, utterly dull cell in the deepest dungeons of Asgard, it does not seem surprising I would have nodded off," said Loki.

"I was just hanging around my hotel room in Tuscany I've been staying at. I was preparing to spend a say at the hot springs in the mountains with Anna, but I think I decided to take a quick nap." said Oakley.

Hot Springs? Prince Hal mouthed to Scott, holding back a grin. Scott just laughed, and waved him off.

"I just went to bed as usual," said Hal.

"I got in a huge fight with Esther…" said Freddie. "She said something about leaving for a few days, to take a break. I must've gone to the bar and had a little too much to drink, came home and fell asleep on the couch."

"Our army squadron had been on the move for 3 days and 2 nights non-stop," said James thoughtfully. "I believe we had a rest period then, that I obviously took advantage of. But, how did we get here? Who could have transported us to a cave?"

They all looked to Loki. "Excuse me, mortals, I wouldn't waste my time and resources on you pathetic beings even if I could. Transportation isn't one of my many skills of deception. How could I have done anything like that in a blasted cell?" They all turned and looked thoughtful again.

Well that got us no where, thought Magnus. He sighed, and sat down. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see if a way out presents itself to us."

"But just like you said before, all we can do now is wait." said Oakley, coming over and sitting beside him.


	3. Sleipnir

**A/N: Please leave a word in the reviews if you enjoyed this chapter for me to do the next chapter on. :) **

**~Corinne**

It was getting later in the day, or night, or whatever it was outside, and everyone had gathered around the middle of the cave to hear tales of the war from James.

"So he volunteered and told me he was 19, but of course I could tell he was younger than that. I wanted him to be able to stay with his horse, but I don't think he understood the seriousness of soldiering." Freddie nodded in agreement. "Poor lad. I hope Joey gets back to him in the end."

Prince Hal looked thoughtful, like he was trying to recall something very important on the topic that had snagged his mind. Suddenly, his lips emerged into a sly smile, as he must have remembered. "Speaking of horses…." He was watching Loki closely, and saw him tense up. This just kept Hal going.

"Loki, didn't you have a, how shall I put this… 'close' relationship with one before?" The others looked at Loki in confusion. Magnus saw Loki slightly blush, then his face iced over again. Magnus started to put two and two together in his head, since he was the only other person who had studied Norse in there, and his mouth slightly dropped open, realizing what Hal was talking about.

"My past has nothing to do with any of you," Loki said through gritted teeth, pointing his deathly glare at Hal.

"Well, now that we're sharing stories, you might as well share this one." "Yes, Loki, we want to hear some more about you," said Freddie, smirking, contributing in any way he could to embarrass the god, "What went on with the horse?"

They all looked back to Loki. "I'm not sure I want to hear this…" said Scott with an uneasy smile. "Um, guys, if Loki doesn't want to talk about it, then, I think we should respect that," said Magnus. "Oh, now I **really** want to hear," said Freddie, grinning.

Magnus, knowing that there was no way Loki could get out of this explanation now, gave up.

Loki, also realizing this, sighed, and looked down, then up again. "There was a… horse by the name of Svaðilfari, who wanted to take over my home planet of Asgard…" he said reluctantly. "And?" said Hal eagerly.

"Oh do shut up! And, he was very strong and powerful, so there was virtually no way to his avert his attack. We needed someone to stall for protection and warriors to assemble." He cleared his throat, and swallowed. "So I, being the God of Mischief, was sent after the horse to distract it from fighting and, take its mind off, in a way, of destroying our world."

"There must be something else to the story," said Hal, pushing a little further. If looks could kill, Hal would be incinerated in a second. Seeing as he couldn't just stop there as Hal knew the whole story, Loki continued, starting to get embarrassed now. "And… so… I shape shifted into a horse as well. A mare actually."

"Then what happened next, Loki, tell us!" said Hal.

"Blasted, I'm getting there!" He gulped. "And so I…" he took a deep breath. "I seduced the evil horse to make him forget the attack." They all kinda groaned at the thought.

"So, the horse finally caught up with me." Loki looked as if it were quite gross to even recall, even now, and continued on disdainfully, "And, we…" "What?!" asked Bill, in awe, very absorbed in the story, "What did you guys **do**?!" Loki glared at him. "You don't get all the details! Just... we ended up…. producing offspring... or at least… I did. His name is Sleipnir. He's an eight legged horse." "Oh! I knew I didn't want to hear this," said Scott. Prince Hal laughed. Loki again shot him a look.

There was an awkward silence, then Magnus cracked a smile. Soon everyone was kind of giggling about the horse incident. That broke out in to full on laughter fits. Bill was just killing himself laughing on the ground, and even the quiet, contained Oakley was trying to hold back a smile.

Scott took a swig of gin from his flask, and came up and slapped him on the back. "Congratulations, old sport!" he said, finishing his sentence with laughter. Loki, even though he did have to admit it sounded kind of funny for him to give birth to a horse, shrunk down into his cape, and growled slightly at Hal, giving him a 'you will pay' look. _Midgardians_, he thought in annoyance.

For some reason, Magnus felt bad for him. He wiped the smile off his face. "Everyone, stop it! Loki told us his story, and we shouldn't mock him for something he did to help his home planet! I'm sure we've all done some pretty embarrassing things, too, hm?"

"Yeah, we sleep with horses everyday!" said Freddie, doubling over from laughter with Scott.

Oakley got up and joined Magnus. "I agree with Magnus. Loki deserves a little more respect." Hal suddenly looked down, ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry, old chap," he said, and sat down beside Loki. "Sometimes I let my inner immaturity slip out."

This was the first time Loki had ever felt like someone actually cared about his feelings. Well, some of them did anyway. They all finished their giggle fit, and sat back where they were before.

Loki's expression turned dead serious. "This never leaves the cave, understand?! You people and Thor are the only living creatures alive, except for the horse, who know about this," he looked each of them in the eye. "And if I hear word of this discussion anywhere throughout the nine realms, I will find you. You think you know pain? I'll make you wish for something as sweet as pain." That silenced everyone.

"Well, on that happy note," said Bill, "Why don't we play a game?!"


	4. Truth or Dare

"Brilliant idea! I do love games," said Scott happily. "Why don't we play truth or dare? Who wants to go first?" "I volunteer Bill, it was his idea!" said Freddie. "Alright then," said Bill. "Um… Loki!

Loki should have known. Of course they would pick him first. He had discovered this strange game one day when Thor had dragged him to a party with his girlfriend Jane. He sighed. "Go ahead with it then."

"Okay," Bill started, "Truth or Dare?"

Loki wanted desperately to say Truth, shuddering to think of what they would make him do as a dare, but rethinking the situation, decided to go with dare in fear of being teased.

'Okay…. Um…" Bill looked around for inspiration. He had to come up with a REALLY good one.

Suddenly, a wide grin spread across his face. Everyone was in suspense of what he was going to say.

"Okay, Loki. I dare you to use your magic to replicate Scott's alcohol that he carries with him, so we can all have like, unlimited drinks!" Prince Hal high fived him.

"Really? That's your dare?" Loki asked, questioning if this boy had an IQ higher than 15.

"Are you chicken?" asked Freddie. Loki whipped his head around to glare at him. "I nearly single handedly destroyed an entire realm, I rallied an other-worldly army for my own to take over your pathetic planet, and I have frozen countless people on the spot with my powers. No, Freddie, I do not believe I am 'chicken.'" Freddie shut his mouth.

Loki opened his palm, summoning some green mist into it. "I'm going to need the bottle," he said, summoning to Scott with his other hand. Scott handed it to him, and Loki enveloped it with the green mist, immediately replicating it into 7.

They all took one, except for James, who passed his on to a happily accepting Hal. "Alright, Bill," said Magnus when everyone had settled in, "I dare you to impersonate Loki." Bill frowned. "You can't just dare me! You have to ask if I want truth or dare." Magnus rolled his eyes. "Fine, truth or dare?" "Dare," Bill grinned, and Magnus sighed. He was really irritating.

Bill got up, ready to do a full impersonation of Loki. He took a sip of his drink, and immediately felt the effects. He turned around, then whipped back to face all of them. He put his fingers to his face, twirling a fake moustache. "Oohoohoohoohoo! I am the bad guy! I am the god of mischief, right here, right now! Oohoohoohoo!"

Oakley, Scott, and Freddie lost it and burst into laughter. Loki just grumbled. "That's not what I sound like…" Scott slapped him on the back. "Have a sense of humour about yourself, old sport!" Bill started laughing and sat back down. "Okay Magnus, truth or dare?"

Magnus picked truth. "Have you ever…. Broken the law?" Magnus smiled. "I work for the law. I'm a detective." "But that doesn't mean you haven't broken the law before!" prompted Hal. Magnus looked around at everyone. "If you promise not to tell-" Scott laughed. "Everyone in this room is basically sworn to secrecy. Now go on!"

"Well," Magnus bit his lip. "I… yes. I did, when I was younger. I was about your age, actually…" he said, gesturing to Bill.

"My friends and I were having a stakeout in my backyard, it was the closest thing we were going to get to camping, and we were bored. We checked the time. It was 2:00 AM, and all the stores were closed. So we decided to go and break into one."

Everyone's eyes widened in shock. "You? Holy Mesopotamia!" said Hal. They all looked at him for his peculiar choice of words. "As I was saying, we arrived at the dark, abandoned store, pitch black outside and pitch black inside. We broke through the door quietly and went in."

"And? What did you take?" asked Oakley, having a drink.

"We stole…." They all looked at him anxiously. "A bag of chips."

They all fell silent, until Hal broke it. "A bag of chips. You broke into a store at 2:00 in the morning and all you took was a bag of chips?!" Magnus shrugged. "We were hungry!" They all laughed.

"Alright," said Hal. "James! You've been pretty quiet! Truth or Dare?" "Truth," he said, almost immediately. Hal grumbled. "Fine. Who was your first time?" James shifted uncomfortably. "I…um. Pass? May I pass?" "Awww! You're gonna chicken? On a truth? That's completely cowardly!"

Freddie defended his new friend. "Hey now! James may be some things, but a coward isn't one of them! He's one of the bravest men I know!" James smiled gratefully. But Hal pushed. "Come on! Your answer can't be as bad as Loki's first, a horse!" Loki's expression showed one of utter annoyance.

"There's got to be a reason you don't want to answer," said Magnus. James again looked very uncomfortable. "Come on, we all know each other now, you can tell us surely!" said Scott. James sighed. "I… I never had a first time."

"Geez, even I've had a first time!" said Bill, thinking dreamily about the picture of Jewel. Oakley smiled at James. "That's alright, man! You just haven't found the right one yet! They're out there somewhere." James nodded his head, and thanked Oakley. At least they were being nice about the discovery.

About 20 minutes later, they were all (except James) pretty drunk. "We are so hammered!" shouted Bill. "Do not ever say the word hammer again!" said Loki angrily. Bill laughed. "Hammer-hammer-hammer-hammer!" he slurred. Loki turned to him, and gave him a look that was so terrifying that Bill stopped and looked down.

"Alright, Hal!" said James. "Truth or Dare?" "I'll go with truth. Make it a good one!" "Okay… who do you ship?" Since Hal was slightly outdated when it came to modern day words, he looked confused. "What's shipping, other than transporting packages?" James shrugged.

"I just heard some young people talking about it, apparently it's when you really like the idea of two people together as a couple, and you mix their names together." Hal thought for a second, then grinned. "I like… Thor and Loki… Thorki!" he said, just to get Loki mad.

Loki sputtered. "THORKI? What kind of a sick mind do you Midgardians have? Me and Thor? That is just… that is disgusting! I- ugh! I can't even think about that!" Scott stifled a giggle.

Loki was still muttering to himself about 'Obscene Midgardian stupidity' as they got to the last person. "Oakley? I do believe you're the last one," said Scott. Freddie thought up a really good one. "Oh! Alright, Oakley. I dare you to switch clothes with Loki for 5 hours."

Loki threw his hands up. "Why do you people keep picking on **me** all the time?" "Because it's fun!" replied Freddie. Oakley looked nervous at first about dealing with the trickster god, but then accepted the challenge. Oakley was always the guy at the party (and he'd had a lot of parties in the past) who would do anything at all, so he wasn't about to break that streak now.

They went into separate corners, and no one looked as they changed. Finally they turned around. Oakley looked hilarious with his curly blond hair poking out from underneath the helmet, which was way too big for him, and wobbled around as the outfit made entirely of leather and metal clung to every body part of his.

Then Loki turned around, and the sight that they were all met with was possibly the funniest thing they had ever seen. Loki was wearing a grey t shirt and beige cargo shorts, long legs sprouting from underneath, and a string around his neck for the 'chilled out' effect.

Loki looked very uncomfortable, and very unhappy as he went to sit down, looking like a summer camp counsellor slash escaped convict, and Oakley looked like a young man on his way to a very wild costume party.

Everyone was laughing at this switch up, and made room for them to sit down.

"How do you wear this thing?" Oakley asked in disbelief, adjusting himself in the now sweaty clothing. Loki grinned. "It's how we like it in Asgard." That set the trio of loons, Hal, Scott and Freddie off laughing again.

By the end of the game, they were, surprisingly, not tired at all. Bill looked around. "Let's do something else."

"Okay," agreed Hal, who was accustomed to staying up basically the whole night at the pub with his friends back where he lives.

"But what?"


	5. Party

**A/N: Sorry for the terribly long wait! xx **

"Why not have a party?" suggested Scott. "Aren't we already sort of having a party?" asked Bill, and Scott shrugged. "Well, in my experience, parties consist of various festivities instead of just one…" "Let's play Would You Rather!" said Oakley.

"Alright, but first, I need another drink," slurred Bill, and Loki nodded happily, getting slightly woozy by now, and filled everyone's glasses of their choice drinks with a wave of his hand.

"Soooo…" started Bill, hiccupping, "I'll go first if *hic* no one else wansta!" Scott turned to him with a smile and patted him on the back. "You've never gotten this drunk before, have you, my fellow?" "Nope." They all laughed.

"Would you rather…" inquired Magnus, sloshing around his Long Island ice tea, "Wake up naked wrapped around a cactus, or wake up naked in a Dairy Queen with cake smeared all over you?"

Bill stared for a second, a blank look on his face as he processed this. "I must be really wasted, I thought you said a cactus!" Magnus grinned. "I did." Bill stared some more, and finally, his face twisted up. "What kind of *hic* stuuupid question is that? Gawd…. I guess if I haaad to choose, I would choose the… Dairy Queen."

"Really? Why? People would see you!" "That's what I'm counting on. I've got nothing to hide, I'm a sexy *hic* beast!" This made Scott and Hal laugh so hard Scott started coughing.

"James?" "Yes…?" "You." "Oh." "Yep." "Okay."

Bill targeted James with an evil smile, clearly in possession of a wonderful question. "Would you rather suggestively flirt with your commanding officer, or swallow a live spider?"

James sputtered. "Um, I wouldn't willingly do either…. But since this game requires an answer of me… I suppose I would…. swallow a spider." Bill's jaw dropped. "Why?" "Well, the other option would completely ruin my career in the army." "Pfft. What if the spider lays eggs in your stomach?"

Scott nearly spit out his martini. "Mmm. Why don't we kindly refrain from discussing the vile reproduction of arachnids on the interior of our stomachs, shall we?" he said, straightening his tie. They nodded.

Freddie spoke up. "Hal; Would you rather give the most important speech of your life while brain-numbingly drunk, or reveal to your parents your forbidden love affair while incredibly high?"

Magnus shook his head in disapproval. "You know, getting high is- "

Oakley and Scott finished his sentence, "SO BAD FOR YOU. We know Magnus!" Magnus just laughed, and let Hal answer.

Hal laughed. "I've done both," he said proudly, "but I suppose the most fun was the mind-numbingly drunk one, since the incredibly high one just landed me a slap in the face by my ever-so-gentle father…" Loki raised his eyebrow. "Tell us, Prince Hal of England, of your experiences with such drunkenness."

"My pleasure!" Hal smiled, and started the story.

"One day, I was meant to give a very important speech that was supposed to introduce me to my kingdom. I wrote the speech, I memorized the speech, and put many hard, long hours of work into it. Now, being me…" he said, scratching his neck, "To celebrate all this, I naturally went out to the pub with my dearest friends the night before, and got completely smashed."

Oakley chuckled, and Hal continued. "The next morning, I woke up with a throbbing headache, and unfortunately, the usual hangover hadn't kicked in yet. Which sometimes happens, so I did what I normally do when it does." "What?" "I got ridiculously high." They all laughed again at Prince Hal's lifestyle.

"So forced to meet my obligation, I got up, got ready, made a point to avoid any members of my family in fear of what wrath would meet me.

I continued on to the balcony where I was to talk, and saw the whole kingdom gathered beneath me. I walked out, cleared my throat, and started. I sounded a little like this: 'My fellow good people of Britain. I, as your soon to be king…" then, apparently, I just stopped mid-sentence and started to laugh.

I was told that I laughed for four straight minutes at a bird that flew by, then at my own shoe for another three. I was finally escorted off the balcony, and the speech was finished by my very disappointed, VERY angry father." "What happened after that?" "I was basically told that I couldn't go to the pub for a month, but I didn't worry. My good friend, Falstaff, brought me everything I needed."

"You lead a life of indulgence and debauchery…. I like that," said Loki, sipping his Asgardian Ale.

"Loki! You're next!" said Oakley, reaching inside the sweaty costume of Lokis to scratch his chest. "Don't drench the thing!" Loki said, wincing at the amount of moisture on Oakley's skin. "How do you even function in this?!" Oakley puffed, "It's pure leather and metal!" "That's how we like it on Asgard." They grinned.

"Would you rather turn the Avengers into cats, or fish?" Loki thought about this. "Most likely felines, due to lack of mobility from fish. At least if they were cats, I might be able to use them as allies." "But if they were fish, they would be less annoying." "Mmm. I hadn't thought of that. But fish can't kneel… I kind of have a thing for kneeling.."

"You have a thing for kneeling, do you? I didn't know you were the kinky type," joked Magnus, and that set them all off again into a fit of drunken giggles.

"Okay, okay-" Magnus began, "Freddie. Would you rather go dancing with Loki, or go to the couples corner at the movie theatre with James?" James threw up his hands. "Why am I always involved in those kinds of questions?" Freddie rubbed his chin, and bit his lip. "Couples corner with James." Loki looked offended. "You'd be willing to sit with James for a few hours, but not dance with me for a few minutes?" "Basically, yes." Loki huffed, and drank down more of his ale.

"What else did people do at your parties, Scott?" asked Oakley. "We sang. Singing is fun at parties!" Scott answered gleefully, and Freddie joined in. "Oh yes, singing is a given for celebrations. He got up with Scott, and the two linked arms, doing an old style tap dance.

They started singing, musical style, and when they were done, sat down, out of breath. Everyone clapped and grinned at the two, and Bill decided to give it a shot. He got up, and cleared his throat.

"First I was afraid… I was petrified!" he started, and everyone groaned at his off-key tone. "Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by ma side!" he continued, "but then I spent so many nights, thinkin' how you got me wrong, and I grew strong… and I learned how to get along-"

Oakley jumped up and joined him for the rest of the song, the two grooving out and singing terribly. When it was over, the two bowed, and Bill almost fell over, but Oakley steadied him. Oakley kept going with his own song after that, which was Kiss.

"I- wanna rock and roll all night! And party everyday!" When he was done, everyone cheered and he sat down, giving Hal cue to get up.

He began to move his hips in a sassy way, and started singing, low and guttural. "I'm bringing sexy back! And all the boys don't know how to act!" he sang, pointing at them. They all lost it, and clapped along with him.

After Hal went James, who sang the anthem, and then Magnus. Magnus got up, and began to rap.

"I said a hip, hop, a hippity to the hippity hip hop and ya don't stop, a rocking to the bang bang boogy to up jump the boogy to the rythym of the boogy to beat!" Bill made a beat, and Magnus began dancing, snapping his fingers and everything, shaking his butt.

When Magnus made his big finish, everyone looked to Loki. He was the only one who hadn't 'performed' yet. Loki awkwardly stood, moving to the front, what they had deemed the stage. He looked up nervously at their faces, and took one last sip of his drink before setting it down. He cleared his throat…. and began to sing.

It was the clearest, nicest voice they had ever heard. He was singing 'My Heart Will Go On," and he completely nailed it. When he was finished, everyone went nuts.

"LOKI!" yelled Magnus. "I didn't know you could sing like that! How are you not famous!" "Probably attempting world domination a year ago has something to do with that," he answered sheepishly. "That was amazing!" they all gushed, and Loki eventually sneered.

"Alright, alright, you pathetic creatures, I know I'm good, you don't have to tell me. Stop showering me with compliments and affection!" They all laughed at Loki's usual temperament, but they could tell he was happy to be receiving the attention.

"Guys!" said Hal. "Yeah?" "You know what else I used to do in my spare time in the evening?" "You mean besides getting drunk and high?" "Exactly. I used to like scary things. How about some tales from beyond the grave!" "Beyond the grave?" said Bill hazely, "But how could they come from beyond the grave, you're not dead… or are you?" He narrowed his eyes accusingly, and hiccupped. Freddie whacked him on the back of the head as he drank from his glass of aged whiskey, and chuckled. "No, you idiotic twonk, he means GHOST stories!"

"Oh." They all sat there for a second, and James smiled.

"I always was one for a spooky tale." So that decided it.


	6. Ghost Stories

It was darker, or as dark as it could possibly get in a cave, and Oakley and Loki had taken advantage of the dim lighting to change out of their uncomfortable swapped clothing. Oakley was relieved to slip on his faded blue shirt and loose shorts, comfy and casual as always.

Loki had been less than impressed when he got back his drapes wetter than before and smelling strongly of tangerines and tobacco, two of the things on Midgard Loki loathed the most. When they had rejoined the others, Magnus had taken out a flashlight he carried along with him on duty.

"I do know some good ghost stories," said Hal, rubbing his hands together, "Of Kings slain in their sleep and returning to seek revenge on the immoral soul who condemned them to such travesty!" James raised an eyebrow. "Sounds dramatic." "Everything coming from Hal sounds dramatic," joked Freddie, and they all nodded in agreement.

"I know some good stuff on hacked up bodies, brutal murder, dismemberment and such!" offered up Magnus, a little too eager to share them, "From personal experience, no less."

Scott cringed. "Let's start out with a ghost story initially, and, eventually move on to the…. More unsettling ones." "Oh, Scottie my friend," Hal cackled evilly, "Who ever said mine wouldn't be unsettling!"

Bill gulped, and, hoping he wouldn't notice, snuggled into the crook of the older gods arm. Loki of course noticed this, but didn't say anything. As much as he would never in all the nine realms admit it, the boy wasn't…. all bad. He was beginning to grow on Loki, in fact.

Hal was about to begin, but before he started, Oakley held up a finger, and took Magnus's flashlight. He put it in Hal's hands, and showed him how to place it under his chin for the 'creepy effect.' So Hal, looking less like a prince charming now and more like a deranged stowaway began his spooky tale.

"Once, in a time far past of you but mere years for me, there lived a great king. He was a kind man, and very strong, but if you got on the wrong side of him, the wrath was a wrath that never made one question his rule again. This king had a beautiful wife, with a shape slender as a fairy's, hair long and flowing."

Being Hal, he of course couldn't keep short the description of women. Bill giggled slightly, and looked down. "I think the image I got from that gave me a hard on!" Loki made a face, and shoved the boy off his arm away from him, and everyone laughed.

"Alright, hush now, you're ruining the mood," quieted Freddie. "Please continue, Hal."

"Yes. So needless to say, there was always to be one who envied the good king's power. So this very person took action, and within but a fortnight, he sneaked into the King's chambers-" He was interrupted by a giggle from Bill. "Oh, stop being so immature! You're completely massacring the story!" said Magnus, even though Bill was making him smile slightly with his drunken shenanigans.

"Ahem. So he sneaked into his bedchambers, and SLAYED THE KING WHERE HE SLEPT." Hal paused for dramatic effect, and everyone leaned closer.

"This person was, of course, very pleased with himself, and had now ascended to the throne. But after a few nights of utter contentment, out of the ordinary happenings began."

Everyone started shifting, and Bill kept looking behind him. James was acting very unlike himself, grinning at the terror of the story.

"Creaks, moans, wails were to be heard in the dead of night, and nightmares full of unspeakable horror that left the new king in a cold sweat. But he refused to admit he heard the noises; he was too proud. So he continued on until the noises got louder, and louder, until one night, something happened more significant than anything yet."

"What?" "WHAT?" "A spectre." "What's a spectre?" asked Bill, and Freddie whacked him on the head again. "A ghost, imbecile!" Bill nodded knowingly, and rubbed the back of his head.

"The ghost bore three words, the three words that chilled the man to the very marrow of his bones. 'I. Never. Forgive.' The next day, the man was found dead, wrapped up in his bedsheets, his face twisted with pure terror. And all that was left was a crown atop his head, his blood smeared all over it."

They all shuddered, and erupted into 'ooohhs." "You tell stories well, my friend!" said Scott, slapping him on the back. "I need another drink," said Bill, shaking with his arms around himself. "Do you think that's a good idea, William-" started James, but Bill just snorted a confirmation.

"I'm fiiine. This is fun anyway." James shut his mouth, not interfering any further. They all got Loki to fill their glasses, and it was Magnus's turn to tell his story.

"Are you ready… for the pure horror….the sheer terror… of what I'm about to tell you?" he asked in a deep voice, intending to scare everyone. Freddie raised an eyebrow sassily. "Is this an advertisement for the story or the actual thing?" Magnus pouted. "It's supposed to build up tension…" "Get on with it, Martinsson!" shouted Loki, making Magnus jolt in his seat.

"We don't need horror stories when we have a living one right here," Magnus mumbled under his breath, and Loki shot him a glare.

"In the darkest, most secluded part of Ystad, Sweden, there were rumours that circled a particular alleyway around the area," he began. "It was nicknamed 'Satan's Alley,' due to the horrific rumours. It was said that if you walk down it in the middle of the night, twelve o'clock sharp through a fog, you won't make it out alive if you scream.

One young woman didn't believe in this story, and she was on her way home one night. It was so foggy that she couldn't see through the park, and thought it would be easier and less dangerous to take a shortcut through the alleyway.

She had always been a rather sensible person, so she thought nothing of the legend. She shivered through the cold mist, not a soul in sight. As she stepped through the cobblestoned alleyway, a clock above her struck 11:59. She looked up, cursing at the time. She was supposed to be home to her boyfriend 20 minutes ago, and she knew he would worry, so she quickened her pace.

Suddenly, the clock struck midnight, and everything around her grew eerily quiet. No cars passed on the road, the river beside did not rush… and the only illumination for her path was the single streetlamp at the end of the alley.

She bit her lip, but refused to jump to conclusions, so she kept going. But the alley seemed to stretch on and on in front of her, the more she walked, the farther away from the end she seemed. She stopped, and began to panic. She tried to turn back, but the fog was so thick she couldn't see. So she was forced to continue on her never ending way.

She finally stopped after walking for 20 more minutes, now clearly convinced something was happening. She tried calling for help, a single scream piercing through the merciless night air. And then, the lamplight went out, and the alleyway was left in nothing but the pale moonlight, and a murderous shadow brutally murdering the woman."

There was a shocked silence. Hal finally put a hand on Magnus's shoulder. "Your story topped mine. I applaud you for that." Magnus grinned, and everyone was shaken back to reality. "That was… absolutely… I usually wait until midnight to go out and party about in Paris," said Scott, "I surely won't be using any alleyways now…"

Even Loki had a look of fright, which he quickly wiped off. "Pfft," he said, "That was a mere bedtime story!" Oakley looked down at his arm. "That's not what your death grip is telling me that you've got on my arm." Loki quickly realized he had been gripping Oakley's arm throughout the story, and released with a blush. "I was… cold," he tried.

"I've got a good one," suggested James, and they all turned to him, surprised. He shrugged, and waved them off. "I learned it one night when I was in the trenches with a few of my comrades… it's nothing much, just a bit of a spook." They nodded, and Freddie motioned for him to start.

James cleared his throat. "There once lived two vampires." Before he could continue, Bill interrupted him with a groan. "This isn't Twilight, is it?" James's face twisted in confusion. "I do not believe this story takes place at twilight, no…"

"No, I mean the books, movies… Twilight? You know? Edward and Bella?" James, Scott, Hal and Freddie gave him blank stares, and Bill just sighed. "I don't know… Jewel likes them so I bought them for a birthday present… go on."

"Yes, well… there once lived two vampires by the names of Adam and Eve. They were immortal, so they had the gift as Eve saw it, or the burden as Adam saw it, of living forever. But blood was getting harder and harder to find. They could not find pure blood so easily before.

They mostly fed off blood sacks from hospitals, but sometimes they would have to feed off live humans. And you know, you must kill someone before sucking their blood. So one late night, Adam and Eve were leaving the hospital, exhausted and discouraged at not finding any good blood to drink.

They were on their way home, when Adam caught a scent. It was a sweet, fresh smell, of pure, wholesome blood. He smiled, and beckoned Eve to come as well. They came across a man, just out of school it seemed, and they stalked after him. They waited until just the right moment, and lashed out and bit the man. They sucked him dry, until they were full of what they needed. They disposed of the body, and were now fully awake, ready for their next victim to fall underneath their fangs!"

Everyone reacted the same as the last, scared and shaken.

Suddenly, in the corner of the cave, a large explosion of black and grey ash went off. Everyone jumped up, Bill screamed like a little kid, and they all huddled together in the corner.

They looked to the corner, and the ash cleared. They all gasped at what they saw.

There, standing in the dark, was a man with dark brown hair that fell over his shoulders. He stepped out. "Actually, it didn't happen quite like that," the man drawled, lifting his pale white hand up to his face to brush the messy waves off his jawline.

"Wh-who are y-you?" asked Oakley cautiously, and the man took a step closer.

"I am Adam. The vampire Adam."

Bill fainted.


End file.
